The F Word.

Fat.

I've spent the majority of my life being called Fat. It's always been used in such a negative, degrading way that it's almost impossible to hear that word and not cringe.

A few months ago, a video dropped of me on a viral Facebook site, Insider, which has now gotten over 10 million views...and many more followed. If you scroll through the comments, there is a mix of positive and negative. The negatives have to be ten times worse than anything I've ever heard so I generally don't read them.

The few comments that I did read called me every curse word in the book, wished me dead, and shamed me for bettering myself...go figure. It really got me thinking...why do people have to have such strong opinions on someone they don't know...and will probably never know? I gave up on folks a long time ago so I don't really take things too personal. I did, however, think about all the women that are just like me that are going to read those cruel words and be crushed by it....and that made me mad. The reason I put myself out there and allowed myself to spread across the internet was the fact that I wanted others to see the possibility to get healthy no matter where you're at...not to be brought down by the hate thrown my way.

In those past months, I've spent a lot of time on my mental health and learning what makes me happy. I'm slowly learning to live my life in a positive way without allowing negativity to change me. It may sound easy, but the bad things have a way of slipping through the cracks of your happiness and dragging you down.

While working on my happiness, I had to put my social media on the back burner. As much as I love social media and all the amazing doors it has opened for me, it also became overwhelming. If I wasn't losing weight fast enough, people were criticizing me. Criticizing me...for doing things at my own pace? For getting bored with my content? I'm not sure...but if you aren't happy with someone on social media, why are you still following them?

Whether you're working on gaining or losing weight, I think it's important to remember that every one is on their own personal journey. Some may be trying to lose weight, but end up gaining it. Others may lose a large amount of weight, but still not be happy. There should never be any judgement on what someone else is doing to better themselves...it's just not your business.

I'm working towards my best self, and I'm happy every step of the way. Being unhappy with me for being happy with myself is kind of crazy, don't ya think?

I am overweight. I have lived most of my life overweight. I've lost a lot of weight, but I'm still fat. Fat is something I have. Fat cannot determine the person I am or my abilities. I am happy. I am fat. I am happy AND fat...how the hell is that possible? *sarcasm*